In The Presence of the Almighty

I started this journal to express the many ways my life has been touched since I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord. I hope to share joys, struggles, testimonies and anything I might receive from the Lord. My prayer is that anyone who reads my entries may receive in a way that is necessary for where they are at in life. May the power of the Holy Spirit fill you as you come along my journey.

Location: Ontario, Canada

I am a full time wife and stay at home Mom. I am married to a man who places the Lord first above all else. I am embracing this season in my life to be a Mom and look forward to having more children. My husband and I will raise them in the ways of the Lord.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

The Refining Fire

Lord Have Mercy Posted by Picasa

Today has been a day of healing, revelation, blessing, pain and anguish. I am a bible college student and today I felt like my brain was about to blow up. All of a sudden I felt anxiety and an incredible deep inner groaning within me. Today was not the first day I felt this. Over the last few weeks as I have been seeking the Lord, this has been happening almost daily. Today it culminated with the realization that many things I thought I had known, I was no longer sure about. The Lord is revealing many deep inner truths to me about His word, but through the process the intellect feels as if it has been raped by a thousand foreign comprehensions.

Am I relaying my feelings here?

It is so hard to describe. The last few weeks my prayers have been, "Lord please help me to become less like me and more like you." I want to change and do great things in your name. Equip, refine and use me Lord. I have learned that in order to grow in the Lord we have to allow the Lord to take us through the refining fire. It hurts. I am thankful.

Any growth process takes stages and times can vary. The process is stretching, mending, molding, feeding and ultimately different than its inital stage. Like a seed to a flower, or a child into an adult, there are stages, transformations and incredible growth.

I just thought of this verse from Romans:

Rom 5:1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
Rom 5:2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
Rom 5:3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
Rom 5:4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
Rom 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

What a powerful portion of scripture. It fits in with what I am feeling and knowing that I have hope, joy and am working on my character in Christ Jesus.

The Lord called me to go to Bible College. I had many friends and siblings in Christ tell me that I did not need this education. "Karen, you are called by the Lord, you are producing fruit, just Go and get involved in full time ministry!" Well, I did Go! I just went in a different direction...the only one...led by the Lord to the Bible college I felt Him lead me to. When the Lord said it was time, I moved across the counrty to come here to Alberta. I knew I needed a solid biblical foundation in order to minister the word of God the way my Father wanted me to do it in His name. I am.

I am so thankful I am pursuing an education. My foundation is solid in Jesus Christ, but needs the strength of the word of God, the mortar of the Holy Spirit, and the hands of my Father to keep it from crumbling.

Another portion of scripture that has been ringing through the recesses of my mind the last few weeks is from James:

Jam 4:6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
Jam 4:7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Jam 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Jam 4:9 Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.
Jam 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

The last few weeks as the Lord has been working through me I have been groaning deep cries and sighs as I have been seeking deep intimacy with Him. I know it is the Holy Spirit working through me and not some crazy attack of depression. As I go through this fire, I will often wake up the next morning and hear the Lord's voice ever so clearly, whispering words of love, wisdom, inspiration and revelation.

To those reading this blog I encourage you to humble yourselves before the Lord. Mourn, weep, cry, groan and seek him with all of your heart. When you go through a trial, seek Him first. Don't assume that all the hard stuff you go through in this Christian life is an attack from the devil. The devil is not behind every door knob lurking to give you a hard time. Often, it is our Lord trying to get your attention because he loves you. He desires you to experience the richness, joy and maturity that results from resting in His love.

When the hard times come, say " Lord, here I am, your child. You have my attention Father. I love you and need you to help me through this time. I want to change. I want to become more and more like you Lord."

He will be there to wipe your tears, to wrap his loving arms around you and to give you the strength, guidance and direction you need. Do not be afraid of the refining process. Perfect love from the Father drives out all fear.

Can you hear Him?

He is calling you, to come and be with Him.

Friday, October 07, 2005

A New Creation

Karen's Baptism Posted by Picasa

I decided to post a picture of the day I was baptized: August 17, 2003. I looked for this picture after the verse came to mind,

2Co 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

I am a new creation in Christ! Hallelujah! The water baptism symbolizes us dying to ourselves, being crucified with Christ. I am sooo thankful that I am a daughter of the King and have been given an opportunity to live eternally.

I talked to a girlfriend earlier this evening, of which I have been friends with for 17+ years, although we have known one another for about 19 now. We had alot of laughs and were able to talk so openly with one another. She commented about how she loved my honesty, how I am so funny and even though I am a Christian now my values deep within myself are much the same in many respects but that I am so much more relaxed. She even commented that I am more humourous. I am still the same Karen, but better, different, in a good way. She loves it!

All theses changes are because of Jesus! I do laugh even more than before. I still joke alot, although much cleaner and more tasteful. Those deep values and desires are much the same, except that Jesus is my first priority and my greatest love. He is my heart's desire. Doing ministry, seeing people healed, set free from demonic bondage and most importantly, coming to know Jesus as their Saviour gives me an incredible, almost uncontainable yet unexpressible JOY!

My girlfriend is not a Christian. She was raised with Christian values, in her meaning of what those values are within her own understanding. She was and is not born again. I have told her about Jesus and occassionally we continue to have conversations. I have prayed many times for her salvation.

Tonight I just enjoyed her. Yes, we talked about Jesus. She enjoyed me. She enjoyed Jesus through me. I was a transparent witness for my Lord.

I am so thankful for the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, all the time. The last couple of weeks have been tough times of spiritual warfare. After hearing my friend tonight tell me of the wondferful positive changes within me was much like God whispering to my heart.

Thank you Lord for your tests, for your trials, for your Love.